Sunday, June 30, 2013
'Carrot' Or 'Stick' For Healthcare Incentives?
To keep costs low, companies often incentivize healthy lifestyles. Now, new research suggests that how these incentives are framed - as benefits for healthy-weight people or penalties for overweight people - makes a big difference.
The research, published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, shows that policies that carry higher premiums for overweight individuals are perceived as punishing and stigmatizing.
Researcher David Tannenbaum of the Anderson School of Management at the University of California, Los Angeles wanted to investigate how framing healthcare incentives might influence people's attitudes toward the incentives.
"Two frames that are logically equivalent can communicate qualitatively different messages," Tannenbaum explains.
In the first study, 126 participants read about a fictional company grappling with managing their employee health-care policy. They were told that the company was facing rising healthcare costs, due in part to an increasing percentage of overweight employees, and were shown one of four final policy decisions.
The "carrot" plan gave a $500 premium reduction to healthy-weight people, while the "stick" plan increased premiums for overweight people by $500. The two plans were functionally equivalent, structured such that healthy-weight employees always paid $2000 per year in healthcare costs, and overweight employees always paid $2500 per year in healthcare costs.
There were also two additional "stick" plans that resulted in a $2400 premium for overweight people.
Participants were more likely to see the "stick" plans as punishment for being overweight and were less likely to endorse them.
But they didn't appear to differentiate between the three "stick" plans despite the $100 premium difference. Instead, they seemed to evaluate the plans on moral grounds, deciding that punishing someone for being overweight was wrong regardless of the potential savings to be had.
The data showed that framing incentives in terms of penalties may have particular psychological consequences for affected individuals: People with higher body mass index (BMI) scores reported that they would feel particularly stigmatized and dissatisfied with their employer under the three "stick" plans.
Another study placed participants in the decision maker's seat to see if "stick" and "carrot" plans actually reflected different underlying attitudes. Participants who showed high levels of bias against overweight people were more likely to choose the "stick" plan, but provided different justification depending on whether their bias was explicit or implicit:
"Participants who explicitly disliked overweight people were forthcoming about their decision, admitting that they chose a 'stick' policy on the basis of personal attitudes," noted Tannenbaum. "Participants who implicitly disliked overweight people, in contrast, justified their decisions based on the most economical course of action."
Ironically, if they were truly focused on economic concerns they should have opted for the "carrot" plan, since it would save the company $100 per employee. Instead, these participants tended to choose the strategy that effectively punished overweight people, even in instances when the "stick" policy implied a financial cost to the company.
Tannenbaum concludes that these framing effects may have important consequences across many different real-world domains:
"In a broad sense, our research affects policymakers at large," says Tannenbaum. "Logically equivalent policies in various domains - such as setting a default option for organ donation or retirement savings - can communicate very different messages, and understanding the nature of these messages could help policymakers craft more effective policy."
How Parts Of The Brain Maintain Their Delicate Balance Of Zinc
A new study helps explain how parts of the brain maintain their delicate balance of zinc, an element required in minute but crucial doses, particularly during embryonic development.
The study, led at the Marine Biological Laboratory (MBL) by Mark Messerli in collaboration with scientists from the University of California, Davis, shows that neural cells require zinc uptake through a membrane transporter referred to as ZIP12. If that route is closed, neuronal sprouting and growth are significantly impaired and it is fatal for a developing embryo. Their discovery was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
"This particular transporter is an essential doorway for many neurons in the central nervous system," explains Messerli. "You knock out this one gene, this one particular pathway for the uptake of zinc into these cells, and you essentially prevent neuronal outgrowth. That's lethal to the embryo."
Previously, scientists thought that zinc could use more than one pathway to enter the cell during early brain development. Some other elements, like calcium, enjoy such luxury of multiple options.
Knocking out ZIP12, affected several critical processes in the brain, the scientists found. For example, frog embryos were unable to develop their neural systems properly. Additionally, neurons had trouble reaching out to connect to other neurons; their extensions were both shorter and fewer in number than normal.
"We were surprised that ZIP12 was required at such an early and critical stage of development," said Winyoo Chowanadisai, a researcher in nutrition at the University of California at Davis and visiting scientist in the Cellular Dynamics Program at the MBL. Dr. Chowanadisai was the first on the team to realize that ZIP12 is expressed in such abundance in the brain."This study also reinforces the importance of periconceptional and prenatal nutrition and counseling to promote health during the earliest stages of life."
ZIP12 is part of a larger family of transporters involved in the movement of metal ions from outside the cell. Other reports showed that simultaneously blocking 3 other transporters in the family - including ZIP1, 2, and 3 - had no major effects on embryonic development.
Zinc is needed for healthy neural development, helping the brain to learn and remember new information. However, too much zinc can also be problematic.
The research team is investigating the implications of their results on processes like embryonic brain development and wound healing.
"[The result] was not expected," said Messerli, a physiologist in the MBL's Bell Center for Regenerative Biology and Tissue Enginering and Cellular Dynamics Program. ""We found that zinc uptake through ZIP12 is a regulatory point for neuronal growth, required for development and possibly required for learning and memory throughout life. We want to elucidate the downstream targets that zinc is affecting. That's the next exploration."
Being Physically Fit During Teens Reduces Risk Of Suicidal Behavior Later In Life
Being in good physical shape at 18 years of age can be linked with a reduced risk of attempted suicide later in life. So says a study of over one million Swedish men conducted by researchers at the Sahlgrenska Academy, University of Gothenburg, Sweden.
A new, extensive report from the Swedish National Board of Health and Welfare on child and adolescent health shows that teenagers and young adults in Sweden have worse mental health than their age cohorts in other western countries.
Another report that is part of a new social welfare study shows that the number of serious suicide attempts among 19-23 year olds with activity compensation has increased from 115 per year to 460 per year in Sweden between 1995-2010.
At the same time, the number of suicides in the 10 to 45 age group increased. Even the percentage of young people with no activity compensation who attempted to take their life increased.
In order to break this trend, research has now focused on the factors that can prevent mental illness and the risk of suicidal behavior.
Researchers at the Sahlgrenska Academy, University of Gothenburg, have been able to use a study of 1,136,527 Swedish men to show that there is a link between exercising as a young person and a reduced risk of suicidal behavior later in life.
"Being in poor physical shape at 18 years of age, measured as the test results on an exercise bike during their medical exam for compulsory military service, can be linked to a risk of suicidal behavior as an adult that is 1.8 times greater," says Margda Waern, researcher at the Sahlgrenska Academy, University of Gothenburg.
The study shows that the increased risk was evident even 42 years after the exam for military service.
It has previously been shown that physical exercise has a highly positive effect on brain function, e.g. more nerve cells are developed with physical exercise.
"The teenage years are a critical period in terms of brain development since this is when social and emotional faculties are established. Therefore, it was important to do a larger study on the importance of physical fitness in terms of suicidal behavior in this age group," says Maria Åberg, researcher at the Sahlgrenska Academy who led the study together with Professor Margda Waern.
In the study, which covers all Swedish men born between 1950 and 1987 who completed the previously mandatory exam, researchers compared the results from physical tests during the exam with the national registers of disease and death.
By carefully examining the roughly 340,000 brothers who took part in the study, researchers were able to study how hereditary factors and the home environment affect this relationship.
In a much discussed study published in 2012, the researcher group showed that good physical fitness as a teenager can also be linked to decreased risk of severe depression later in life.
"But even when we exclude individuals who suffer from severe depression in connection with suicide or attempted suicide, the link between poor physical shape and an increased risk of suicidal behavior remains," says Margda Waern.
While depression is a particularly strong predictor of suicidal behavior in later life, the picture among younger people is complex and many factors are involved. "One theory is that the brain becomes more resistant to different types of stress if you are physically active," says Maria Åberg.
Researchers think that physical exercise should be considered in suicide prevention projects aimed at young people.
The new findings are supported by earlier cross-sectional studies where teenagers are interviewed about their physical fitness connected with the risk for suicidal thoughts.
ACNE - ELIMINATE IT !
Face it - A bad diet can have ugly consequences. In fact, high-glycemic foods such as rice, potatoes, bread, and sugary snacks and drinks, may contribute to acne.
A diet loaded with sugars and starches causes a rise in insulin and blood glucose, which may influence hormones and other proteins that make breakouts worse. For a healthy face (and body), limit your carb intake to no more than 40 percent of your total daily calories and eliminate high-glycemic foods.
Although you can't prevent acne, there are steps you can take at home to keep acne from getting worse.
1. Gently wash and care for your skin every day. Avoid scrubbing too hard or washing too often.
2. Avoid heavy sweating if you think it causes your acne to get worse. Wash soon after activities that cause you to sweat.
3. Wash your hair often if your hair is oily. Try to keep your hair off of your face.
4. Avoid hair care products such as gels, mousses, cream rinses, and pomades that contain a lot of oil.
5. Avoid touching your face.
6. Wear soft, cotton clothing or moleskin under sports equipment. Parts of equipment, such as chin straps, can rub your skin and make your acne worse.
7. Avoid exposure to oils and harsh chemicals, such as petroleum.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Ice from Fast Food Restaurants Dirtier than Toilet Water, Study Reveals
If the thought of drinking toilet water makes you cringe, you will probably be none too pleased to find out that ice served at many fast food restaurants contains more bacteria than the water found in their toilets. As reported by the featured article:
“Scientific tests have shown that ice from branches of McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC, Starbucks, Cafe Rouge and Nando’s all had higher levels of bacteria than samples of water taken from their lavatory bowls.
Experts say it could be due to them being cleaned more often than the ice machines... The Burger King result suggested the cause was human contamination, likely to be from a staff member failing to wash their hands.”
While none of the samples presented an immediate health risk, four of them contained high enough levels to be considered a “hygiene risk,” the laboratory warned.
And, while the study was carried out in restaurants in the UK, the results can be expected to be about the same in the US as the issue relates not to the water itself, but rather the bacterial growth that can occur in the ice machine, and/or lack of hygiene on the part of the workers.
This revelation is similar to an investigation done on lemon wedges served in restaurants, back in 2008. At that time, two-thirds of all restaurant lemon wedges were found to be contaminated with disease-causing bacteria -- including fecal bacteria. In all, 25 different, and potentially dangerous, microorganisms were discovered on the wedges.
The fact that people are not keeling over from foodborne pathogens en masse is proof that your body is equipped to handle these types of infectious assaults, but that certainly does not mean there’s no health risk.
Children, the elderly, and anyone with a poorly functioning immune system are among the most vulnerable. Ironically, regularly frequenting fast food restaurants and drinking lots of sweetened beverages is, in and of itself, a factor that will take a toll on your immune function, which could render you more susceptible to experiencing health problems from contaminated ice.
Are You Ready to Ditch Sweetened Drinks Yet?
I’ve been warning you of the many dangers of soda and sweetened drinks ever since I started this site over 17 years ago. Americans in particular get a majority of their daily calories from sugar, primarily in the form of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) in soda and other sweetened beverages. Half of the US population over the age of two consumes sugary drinks on a daily basis,2 and this figure does not include 100% fruit juices, flavored milk or sweetened teas, which means the figure is actually even higher.
Fructose (and especially HFCS) has been identified as one of the primary culprits in the meteoric rise of obesity and related health problems—in large part due to its ability to turn on your “fat switch.”
The HFCS found in sweetened beverages and most processed foods is also highly processed and has been found to be frequently contaminated with mercury. Add to that the fact that most HFCS is made from genetically engineered corn, and you have a recipe for poor health, regardless of whether you’re ingesting it from a can or a meal...
Please note that freshly squeezed fruit juices also contain fructose, which will have the same detrimental health effects as HFCS when consumed in excess, but at least it’s not processed from GE corn...
Ditching sodas and other sweetened drinks and replacing them with pure, vitalized structured water, I believe, is one of the most powerful actions you can take to improve your health and lower your risk of disease and long-term chronic health conditions.
Especially when you consider that just one can of soda per day can add as much as 15 pounds to your weight over the course of a single year, and increases your risk of diabetes by 85 percent!
Fructose is also a likely culprit behind the millions of U.S. children struggling with non-alcoholic liver disease, which is caused by a build-up of fat within your liver cells. Fructose is in fact very hard on your liver, in much the same way as drinking alcohol.
How Much Sugar Do You Consume Each Day?
Around 100 years ago, the average American consumed a mere 15 grams of fructose a day, primarily in the form of whole fruit. Today, 25 percent of Americans consume more than 135 grams per day (that's over a quarter of a pound!), largely in the form of soda and other sweetened beverages. Just one 12-ounce regular soda contains the equivalent of 10 teaspoons of sugar. Similarly, one eight-ounce glass of orange juice has about eight full teaspoons of sugar, and at least 50 percent of that sugar is fructose.
Fructose at 15 grams a day is unlikely to do much if any harm and may even be beneficial for some. But at nearly 10 times that amount it becomes a MAJOR cause of obesity and nearly all chronic degenerative diseases.
As a standard recommendation, I strongly advise keeping your total fructose consumption below 25 grams per day, or 15 grams a day if you are insulin resistant, obese, or have high blood pressure, high uric acid levels, diabetes or heart disease. To get to that low a level, you would essentially need to eliminate processed foods and sweetened beverages from your daily diet, and make sure everything you put into your mouth is a whole food. You might need to limit your whole fruit intake as well. For a list showing the amount of fructose contained in common fruits, please see this previous article.
Sugary Drinks Linked to 180,000 Deaths Annually
In 2009, the American Heart Association (AHA) issued a scientific statement3 about sugar intake and heart health, pointing out that there is evidence for a relationship between the two. According to the abstract:
“High intakes of dietary sugars in the setting of a worldwide pandemic of obesity and cardiovascular disease have heightened concerns about the adverse effects of excessive consumption of sugars. In 2001 to 2004, the usual intake of added sugars for Americans was 22.2 teaspoons per day... Between 1970 and 2005, average annual availability of sugars/added sugars increased by 19%... Soft drinks and other sugar-sweetened beverages are the primary source of added sugars in Americans’ diets. Excessive consumption of sugars has been linked with several metabolic abnormalities and adverse health conditions, as well as shortfalls of essential nutrients...”
The postulated relationship between sugar intake and heart disease is undeniable at this point. Hundreds of excellent scientific articles have linked insulin and leptin resistance to cardiovascular disease much more strongly than cholesterol, and they are in fact at least partially responsible for cholesterol abnormalities. For instance, insulin and leptin resistance result in "small dense" LDL particles and a greater number of particles, which is much more important than your total cholesterol number for evaluating heart disease risk. Insulin and leptin resistance in turn are directly caused by excess fructose and other sugars in your diet.
As I reported back in April, research presented at the American Heart Association’s Epidemiology and Prevention/Nutrition, Physical Activity and Metabolism 2013 Scientific Sessions suggests sugary beverages alone are responsible for about 183,000 deaths worldwide each year, including:
a. 44,000 heart disease deaths
b. 133,000 diabetes deaths, and
c. 6,000 cancer deaths
Among the 35 largest countries in the world, Mexico had the highest death rates associated with sugary beverage consumption. There, the average consumption of sugary beverages was 24 ounces per day. The US ranked third, with an estimated 25,000 annual deaths4 from sweetened drinks.5 (Many might have expected the US to come in first place, but remember that American processed foods contain far more sugars than other nations, so Americans also consume a lot of “hidden” sugar in products other than beverages. This factor was not addressed in this study.) Interestingly, and quite disturbingly, the death rates associated with sweetened beverages were highest in those under the age of 45.
What’s the Healthiest Beverage You Can Drink?
Your body requires a constant daily supply of water to fuel all the various waste filtration systems nature has designed to keep your body healthy and free of toxins. Your blood, your kidneys, and your liver all require a source of good clean water to detoxify your body from the toxic exposures you come into contact with every day. Clearly, the most efficient way help your body both avoid and eliminate toxins is to provide your body with the cleanest, purest water you can find. This is easily done by installing one or more types of water filtration systems in your house.
A whole house water filtration system is ideal, as water contaminants can be even more hazardous to your health when absorbed through your skin into your blood stream, bypassing your gastrointestinal tract. I've written a large number of articles on the hazards of tap water, from fluoride to dangerous chemicals and drugs, to toxic disinfection byproducts and heavy metals, so having a good filtration system in place is more of a necessity than a luxury in most areas. There's just one water line coming into your house, so putting a filter on this is the easiest and simplest strategy you can implement to take control of your health by ensuring the water and the air in your house is as clean as possible. To learn more about different types of water and water filtration systems, please see my special report on this topic.
Another option to consider is to bottle your own water from a gravity-fed spring. This may be one of the highest quality waters and may not require vortexing as the water is already highly structured and full of H3O2. The web site FindaSpring.com6 can help you find natural springs in your local area. As an added boon, most of these spring water sources are free. Just remember to bring either clear polyethylene or glass containers to collect the water so no unsafe chemicals can contaminate your water, and be sure to wrap them in towels to keep them from breaking during transport.
Ditching Sweetened Drinks Is the First Step Toward a Healthier Life
Remember, sweetened beverages (including flavored milk products, bottled teas, and “enhanced” water products), whether sweetened with sugar, HFCS, naturally-occurring fructose, or artificial sweeteners, are among the worst culprits in the fight against obesity and related health problems, including diabetes, heart and liver disease, just to name a few. Ditching ALL of these types of beverages can go a long way toward reducing your risk for chronic health problems and weight gain.
So what should you drink? Your best most cost effective choice is to drink filtered tap water. The caveat though is to make sure you filter your tap water. Nothing beats pure water when it comes to serving your body’s needs. If you really feel the urge for a carbonated beverage, try sparkling mineral water with a squirt of fresh lime or lemon.
If you struggle with an addiction to soda and other sweets, try Turbo Tapping. It's a simple and clever use of the Emotional Freedom Technique, designed to resolve many aspects of an issue in a concentrated period of time.
Are You Ready to Ditch Sweetened Drinks Yet?
I’ve been warning you of the many dangers of soda and sweetened drinks ever since I started this site over 17 years ago. Americans in particular get a majority of their daily calories from sugar, primarily in the form of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) in soda and other sweetened beverages. Half of the US population over the age of two consumes sugary drinks on a daily basis,2 and this figure does not include 100% fruit juices, flavored milk or sweetened teas, which means the figure is actually even higher.
Fructose (and especially HFCS) has been identified as one of the primary culprits in the meteoric rise of obesity and related health problems—in large part due to its ability to turn on your “fat switch.”
The HFCS found in sweetened beverages and most processed foods is also highly processed and has been found to be frequently contaminated with mercury. Add to that the fact that most HFCS is made from genetically engineered corn, and you have a recipe for poor health, regardless of whether you’re ingesting it from a can or a meal...
Please note that freshly squeezed fruit juices also contain fructose, which will have the same detrimental health effects as HFCS when consumed in excess, but at least it’s not processed from GE corn...
Ditching sodas and other sweetened drinks and replacing them with pure, vitalized structured water, I believe, is one of the most powerful actions you can take to improve your health and lower your risk of disease and long-term chronic health conditions.
Especially when you consider that just one can of soda per day can add as much as 15 pounds to your weight over the course of a single year, and increases your risk of diabetes by 85 percent!
Fructose is also a likely culprit behind the millions of U.S. children struggling with non-alcoholic liver disease, which is caused by a build-up of fat within your liver cells. Fructose is in fact very hard on your liver, in much the same way as drinking alcohol.
How Much Sugar Do You Consume Each Day?
Around 100 years ago, the average American consumed a mere 15 grams of fructose a day, primarily in the form of whole fruit. Today, 25 percent of Americans consume more than 135 grams per day (that's over a quarter of a pound!), largely in the form of soda and other sweetened beverages. Just one 12-ounce regular soda contains the equivalent of 10 teaspoons of sugar. Similarly, one eight-ounce glass of orange juice has about eight full teaspoons of sugar, and at least 50 percent of that sugar is fructose.
Fructose at 15 grams a day is unlikely to do much if any harm and may even be beneficial for some. But at nearly 10 times that amount it becomes a MAJOR cause of obesity and nearly all chronic degenerative diseases.
As a standard recommendation, I strongly advise keeping your total fructose consumption below 25 grams per day, or 15 grams a day if you are insulin resistant, obese, or have high blood pressure, high uric acid levels, diabetes or heart disease. To get to that low a level, you would essentially need to eliminate processed foods and sweetened beverages from your daily diet, and make sure everything you put into your mouth is a whole food. You might need to limit your whole fruit intake as well. For a list showing the amount of fructose contained in common fruits, please see this previous article.
Sugary Drinks Linked to 180,000 Deaths Annually
In 2009, the American Heart Association (AHA) issued a scientific statement3 about sugar intake and heart health, pointing out that there is evidence for a relationship between the two. According to the abstract:
“High intakes of dietary sugars in the setting of a worldwide pandemic of obesity and cardiovascular disease have heightened concerns about the adverse effects of excessive consumption of sugars. In 2001 to 2004, the usual intake of added sugars for Americans was 22.2 teaspoons per day... Between 1970 and 2005, average annual availability of sugars/added sugars increased by 19%... Soft drinks and other sugar-sweetened beverages are the primary source of added sugars in Americans’ diets. Excessive consumption of sugars has been linked with several metabolic abnormalities and adverse health conditions, as well as shortfalls of essential nutrients...”
The postulated relationship between sugar intake and heart disease is undeniable at this point. Hundreds of excellent scientific articles have linked insulin and leptin resistance to cardiovascular disease much more strongly than cholesterol, and they are in fact at least partially responsible for cholesterol abnormalities. For instance, insulin and leptin resistance result in "small dense" LDL particles and a greater number of particles, which is much more important than your total cholesterol number for evaluating heart disease risk. Insulin and leptin resistance in turn are directly caused by excess fructose and other sugars in your diet.
As I reported back in April, research presented at the American Heart Association’s Epidemiology and Prevention/Nutrition, Physical Activity and Metabolism 2013 Scientific Sessions suggests sugary beverages alone are responsible for about 183,000 deaths worldwide each year, including:
a. 44,000 heart disease deaths
b. 133,000 diabetes deaths, and
c. 6,000 cancer deaths
Among the 35 largest countries in the world, Mexico had the highest death rates associated with sugary beverage consumption. There, the average consumption of sugary beverages was 24 ounces per day. The US ranked third, with an estimated 25,000 annual deaths4 from sweetened drinks.5 (Many might have expected the US to come in first place, but remember that American processed foods contain far more sugars than other nations, so Americans also consume a lot of “hidden” sugar in products other than beverages. This factor was not addressed in this study.) Interestingly, and quite disturbingly, the death rates associated with sweetened beverages were highest in those under the age of 45.
What’s the Healthiest Beverage You Can Drink?
Your body requires a constant daily supply of water to fuel all the various waste filtration systems nature has designed to keep your body healthy and free of toxins. Your blood, your kidneys, and your liver all require a source of good clean water to detoxify your body from the toxic exposures you come into contact with every day. Clearly, the most efficient way help your body both avoid and eliminate toxins is to provide your body with the cleanest, purest water you can find. This is easily done by installing one or more types of water filtration systems in your house.
The Way to Happiness
Are you ready to discover the way to happiness? Are you ready to discover what Epictetus knew over 2000 years ago?
"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." ~Epictetus, AD 55-135
It's hard for me to imagine that Epictetus, Greek sage and philosopher who was born a slave in what is currently known as Turkey, knew what many people are still trying to grasp – that "Suffering occurs from trying to control what is uncontrollable, or from neglecting what is within our power." (from Wikipedia, quoting Epictetus).
I guess it's true that ”there is nothing new under the sun,” and that we just keep having to learn the same lessons over and over.
I know his teaching to be completely true, because I used to worry about all kinds of things I couldn't control and I suffered with much anxiety. When I finally let go of the illusion of trying to control others and outcomes, and focused instead on what I can control – me – that's when life became so much easier and happier.
Control is such a big issue with most people. We want to convince ourselves that if only we say things right, do things right, pray right, judge ourselves enough, achieve enough, earn enough, acquire enough, say enough affirmations – then we can control how people feel about us and the outcome of things… and then we will be happy.
What is within our power? Primarily, it is within our power to determine our own intent – either to learn about loving ourselves and others, or to protect ourselves against pain with some form of controlling behavior.
Such a paradox! Our controlling behaviors, designed to protect us from pain, are actually what cause much of our pain. When we try to control - by being perfect, by judging ourselves, by getting angry, by giving ourselves up – we make ourselves miserable. When we choose the intent to learn about loving ourselves and others, then we learn to behave in ways that create happiness.
Given that this knowledge was available in AD 100, why are we still struggling with this?
There is a very good reason.
One of the hardest feelings for any of us to feel is helpless. It's a really tough feeling. Most people will do anything to avoid feeling helpless over how other people feel about them, and over the outcome of things.
So they avoid the feeling with a myriad of controlling behaviors. And the controlling behaviors do seem to work – not by affecting how other people feel about them or controlling the outcome of things, but by temporarily protecting them from the intolerable feeling of helplessness. Do you feel helpless when you get angry and blame someone? Generally not. It’s likely that you convince yourself that getting angry and blaming is powerful - even though the other person may resist you, or walk away, or get angry back. While you are angry and blaming, you are successfully avoiding the feeling of helplessness, so this behavior appears to work to control a feeling that you are afraid to feel.
Other controlling behaviors also work to block out painful feelings – feelings such as loneliness, heartbreak and grief. Many people are so afraid of these painful feelings of life that they will behave in ways that create misery, rather than risk feeling these feelings.
They will avoid their pain by judging themselves, turning to various addictions, and making others responsible for their feelings of worth and safety. As long as their controlling behaviors work to cover over their helplessness, heartbreak, loneliness and grief, they believe these behaviors are working for them – even though, in truth, it is causing them to feel anxious, depressed, shamed or angry. They are willing to sacrifice their happiness to avoid their pain.
As Epictetus stated, happiness lies in letting go of trying to control what we can't control, and controlling what we can. One of the things we can control is whether or not we learn to manage the core painful feelings of life. We all have this choice, and the Inner Bonding process is an amazing way of learning this. Once you are no longer afraid of these feelings, then you will be able to let go of controlling what you can't…and you will find your happiness.
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